Wishing I were still here...

ere I am, nearly a month after my last post, wondering again where the time has gone. I mean, I know where the time has gone - my mother's visit, countless dying and crafty projects, our road trip to Italy, cooking some of my favorite dishes for my mom, throwing a baby shower for a friend, visiting our first local fest of the season - but it seems as if it has all flown by so fast. Wasn't it just the other day I was still counting the days - heck, even the weeks! - till my mom's arrival..? I suppose the good side of all this is that the time until our next visit, which is sadly as-of-yet unscheduled, should pass in an equally rapid blur.

After allowing myself one day for an all-out mope after my mom's departure, I'm anxious to jump back into things. In addition to managing various appointments for some apartment work and damage claims (oh yes, also during this month, a leak from our tub has progressed to the point of collapsing our lower-level neighbor's ceiling in), I will also be starting my new post as a once-a-week English-language playmate/babysitter for two lovely Italian children (a job previously held by Frau Dietz, until her recent acquisition of a proper, full-time academic-type position - big congrats to her!). I am very much looking forward to having at least a small job that gets me out of the house and doing something new. I'm also looking forward to time with these adorable children, hearing their family language of Italian in the house and reading from their bookshelves filled with children's stories in no fewer than three different languages. The extraordinary language abilities and behavior of European children never ceases to amaze me.

I also promise to post all about our incredible trip, with lots of photos and recommendations from where we ate, stayed and played. It was an amazing time that I feel so lucky to have been able to share with my mom - the woman who swore she'd never have a passport, let alone see parts of the world she's only seen in the movies. I have countless photos to sift through before I report back, but I promise it will be worth a stop back by the blog.

Until then, I'll be fondly remembering some of these highlights from May (and a wee bit of June)...

Finally got to spend another Mother's Day with my mom

Did some colorful at-home dying (via this tutorial)

... including my hair

A roadtrip that included stops at Lake Geneva,...

... Cinque Terre,

... an olive oil resort in Tuscany,

... and Innsbruck, Austria. (phew!)

Leftover tissue paper party poufs now taking up permanent residence on our previously-hideous light fixture

Fest season began!

Said farewell to my mom (..again) :(

Until the next time, Mom... *sniffle, sniffle* 

I received a sweet consolation from the lovely Ebe from the blog Back to Berlin... and BEYOND after complaining that saying goodbye seemed to get harder every time. She noted that "the longer you are away, the more permanent the separation feels." It is gut-wrenching how much this is a double-edged sword for us expats - the more we acclimate and make our chosen new country home, the further away we seem to make ourselves from our friends and family back in the States. It is the one thing I wish I could change about what is otherwise a really great life overseas.

*Daily Drop Cap from Jessica Hische

America birthday cupcakes -

best dark chocolate frosting, thanks to Martha Stewart

merica's birthday this year falls at a time when I'm feeling a little conflicted about life - and location. For some reason, I've been missing America so much more lately than in our first year here. Food cravings, friend cravings, and just a general, gentle pull at my heartstrings. Am I just missing my family? Or good restaurants besides the two or three we've found worth eating at? Or is it something more, like having a career (let alone a job) or the ability to pursue pretty much anything I'd like?

Some days, I just want to go where it's easier. But I know that waving my white flag and trekking our little family back across the Atlantic only trades one set of problems for another. Sure, I could communicate freely at any place of business (and actually get decent customer service, to boot!), but I'd be paying more for housing, health care and transportation. While gas is significantly less in the US (no matter how much Americans howl about how high the prices are), I'd be forced to own a car due to the lack of decent, comprehensive public transportation, which includes a hefty monthly payment and the need to drive significantly more to get to where I needed to go. My daily commutes in California were anywhere from 40 minutes to an hour and a half - each way. I'll never forget how hard I laughed when we first experienced what Germans referred to as 'traffic' during peak commute time around Frankfurt. It was lighter than mid-afternoon traffic pretty much anywhere in the SF bay area, not to mention that it moved like a well-oiled machine (because those rule-crazy Germans know how to drive). I won't even go into how much we'd pay for an apartment in SF like the one we have here in Germany (let's just say it would be at least 4 times the price). Ugh.

The US definitely stands out amongst the rest of the world here, but not in a good way (Chart via MotherJones)

My family and US friends would be closer, but with minimal vacation time from work (oh yeah, because in America we couldn't afford to be single-income any longer), there'd be less time to actually go and enjoy being with them. When my husband's company was recently purchased by a larger one, everyone was issued all the new company's policies to review. He discovered that working for the same company is the US, it would take an investment of 20 years in their employ before one accrued 25 days of holiday a year. Here in Germany, 6 weeks is standard - from day one. Americans, on average, put in 378 hours more per year than Germans (that's a whopping 10 weeks!). I think America's deep-seated attachment to capitalism is admirable, but as the economy and society change, it might be time to consider a more people-friendly way of running businesses. Without a good quality of life, what else is there? Money surely can't buy you time.

In America - the SF bay, particularly - I could have my pick of just about any kind of restaurant to eat out at and anything and everything you could imagine at the grocery store, but the quality would certainly be lacking. Reading labels in the German grocery store was an exercise in actually being able to understand an ingredients list. An unending, unpronounceable list of chemicals and the ubiquitous American corn syrup was surprisingly absent in almost everything (except, of course, from the American import section). Preservatives are also rare, meaning food in the grocery and in restaurants is perishable, and therefore fresh. Instinctively, it makes me think that Germany cares more about what it feeds to its people than America does. America seems to focus merely on profits, rather than the crap they're stuffing into their foods, and therefore the ever-expanding bellies of the population. 

Would you rather shop here...

or here? C'mon - no contest!

(Photo from MSLK)

While it is completely shallow, the shopping in the states is something I miss terribly. I buy a lot less over here, as do most Europeans, which I think is a good thing. I can't tell you how much crap I got rid of when packing up our cluttered home in California in preparation for a more pared-down lifestyle in Germany. What I do miss about shopping in America though is the show of it. Because America is such a consumerist society, so much money and effort goes into getting Americans to buy things - amazing selections, constant 'deals' and sales, beautiful store windows. Oh, the windows... While we're back, I think I may spend an entire day in a lounger in front of an Anthropologie and just take it all in. There's a level of presentation and creativity that exists in American shops that is completely absent here. Even if I wanted to pay an exorbitant amount for a shoddy-quality polyester shirt here, the utterly uninspiring windows and cheap-looking mannequins hardly motivate me to go inside. The one thing I do love about shopping here is the price you see is the price you pay - no guessing game on what the tax will be when you get to the register; it's all included.  

Even with all the 'pluses' I rack up on the side of living in Germany, and Europe in general, I can't help feeling a calling from the place where I spent the first 30 years of my life. Maybe it's the ease of the day-to-day that appeals to me most right now, considering the day-to-day is what fills my days in the current absence of job and career. But just because something is easier doesn't it mean it's the right thing. I remember having a French woman working in a Belgian bakery here in Germany tell me she'd been in the country for 10 years, but she struggled with the language. I realized then that the life of an expat is a long road.

When my family was out to visit over Christmas, my mother remarked how we were still in 'vacation mode' with our life here. At first, I was greatly offended. We were learning the language (granted, slowly), making German friends - we were residents of Germany, for goodness sake! But time and perspective made me start to think that maybe she was right. With limited cultural integration and language skills, it's easy to see Germany through rose-colored glasses. Sure, there's the low-level frustrations we still experience, like the lack of customer service or the utter ridiculousness of paying to install a kitchen in a rented apartment, but really, we don't know enough to understand all the issues that German citizens face and why we might or might not be better off over here for the long haul.

I guess what it boils down to is that it's impossible to say one country is wholly better than the other for me. One country holds my citizenship, the other holds my residency. I just feel torn since each one now holds a piece of who I am, yet neither feels 100% like home.


*Daily Drop Cap by Jessica Hische

The tree blooms in Nerotal have appeared for the season

pring, complete with its weather fluctuations and blooms aplenty, has made it's glorious entrance. While we've been spoiled with sun and record highs in the past weeks (25C in March!), the spring rain has been trying its damndest to make an appearance. As I write this, the weather today has literally flip-flopped between bright sun and chirping birds to grey skies and rain-streaked windows countless times (currently, we're enjoying the latter - boo). Oh wait, the sun is peeking out, again...

Bailey trying her best to lay in a sliver of sunshine

It turns out that amidst the new beginnings of the season, I will not be getting the job that I applied for - which is actually a good thing. I'm assuming they went with someone with actual, you know, accounting experience, which is most assuredly not me. Just the tutorials my husband was giving me caused my head to hurt. But more than having to do some serious on-the-job training, I would've had to work for the most dispicable boss. Just the other day, he said "Du bist Dümmer als du bist" (sort of the German equivalent to "you're dumber than you look") to an English-speaking colleague whilst in a meeting, thinking he wouldn't understand. What he didn't account for is that my husband would understand and relay the message. Nice.

So, long story short, three cheers for me not getting the job! In effort to let the things I actually know how to do not go to waste, I'm committed to blogging more often and submitting some freelance writing pieces to various travel blogs; I'm even working to apply for a proper freelance position here in Germany. I'm pretty confident I can write better than I can balance debits and credits, anyway.

In recent culinary news...

 

Not as pretty as I'd hoped, but I tried *ugh*



I attempted my first buttercream roses the other day in honor of the lovely Frau Dietz's birthday party. I'm not sure why I tried to do something so outside my abilities a mere hour before the party began (thank you, YouTube tutorial!), but I think I was trying to make up for the fact I failed to make her something special on her actual birthday. Since it is my understanding that Germans aren't big on the whole 'gourmet' cooking at home thing, most party goers were blown away by my rather lame attempt and a few even offered a sort of wife-swap situation. What a way to show my hubby how good he's got it!

Between more writing and cooking, I'd like to request a bit more weather like this, please:

Although with her always-on black fur coat, Bailey might beg to differ with me...

Off to take advantage of the chilly weather with a nice warm bath, a glass of wine and a book. I'm starting to wonder why I was so set on getting out of this whole Hausfrau situation. I think I've got it pretty good myself...

*Daily Drop Cap by Jessica Hische

pring has officially sprung and I finally feel like I've started to crawl out of the winter funk - both literally and figuratively (hence, my long blogging absence). In addition to just the dreary weather, I've been battling with a nearly-new, dying laptop (say farewell to all the photos I've kept on the harddrive for the last six months - without backing up! *sigh*), but mostly, I've been struggling with those feelings again of 'who am I and what exactly am I doing?' Without a computer and photo library to blog from, I've been stuck with even more of this free time to reflect - and question.

Spring explodes in the park in literally a matter of days!

Last year, I spent my winter and early spring days hard at work on our then-new flat - painting, assembling all sorts of Ikea goodies and generally learning how to be a housewife. With the grand entrance of the sun and spring flowers, I've come to the realization that I too must make a change. I have no house projects keeping me busy and no formal language classes to fit into my schedule. It's time to get out and do something productive. So I've submitted my CV (aka, the resume in the states) to the one and only English-speaking job I know of right now and am crossing my fingers that they're willing to overlook my lack of formal accounting training and focus instead on my superb English skills (which is actually a requirement for the position - lucky me). 

In local news, politicians have been putting up posters in the last few weeks and it was interesting to see, at least from my limited, non-fluent-German view, the kinds of people that run for office here. It's sad that it seems politics everywhere is tainted with immorality, but perhaps this is why I have no interest in politics anywhere. Naturally, this puts me at a disadvantage, as most Europeans bring up politics when talking with an American and will likely know much more about what's going on than Americans do about their own country. Europeans' worldliness is humbling.   

Unfortunate names for politicos: 

Schlampe means 'slut' & Popel means 'booger'

In other news...

Thanks to my mom, I'm back in American necessities: Excedrin, brown sugar and, of course, caramel corn

Bailey is still a crazy, stick-eating dog - she's just doing it in the sunshine now

It's not even April & already we've had roll-your-pants-up and lay in the sun kind of days. Ahhh...

So, cross your fingers I end up with a job before too long, a fixed computer harddrive so I can continue blogging with more regularity and for more sunny days to enjoy our beautiful parks (and Biergartens)! 

Our favorite winery cordially inviting us to their spring wine tasting - that's right, once a year is not enough

Up next in April are weekends filled with wine tastings and birthday parties. Looks like we're sailing into summertime with nothing but good times ahead!

*Alex Trochut for Daily Drop Cap, via Jessica Hische