A slow, bittersweet start to 2013
January 18, 2013
uch like so much of winter, the past few weeks have felt like they have been moving in slow motion. The appearance of snow magically dusting everything in town, coupled with unheard-of blue skies in the last couple days have helped, but the limited hours of daylight still fight against my mood and motivation for accomplishing things. Add to that the scaffolding that's gone up next door, and sleeping in, to make up for often not sleeping through the night - let alone even opening the bedroom curtains - has become impossible. It's only mid-January and I'm already crabby.
But there are things to do this year and I can't let a little seasonal sadness get in the way. After making Berlin our goal, we've become even more antsy to get out of Wiesbaden. So much about life here has changed for us. The dog attacks on Bailey mean we feel we can't go to our beautiful park anymore. The new additions to our friend's families mean a definite shift in our social engagements. Just the realization of what life could be - restaurants, concerts, trains that runs later than midnight - has left us feeling a bit stifled in what was once a city we felt held so much opportunity. Being on financial lock-down as we save up to move unfortunately makes that feeling of being stifled even stronger. I'm not quite sure what do to combat that, aside from making lists, purging belongings that won't make it to what will likely be a much smaller apartment and saving, saving, saving. Not really how I wanted to spend the last of our time in this town we've called home for the past three years, but it is what it is.
It is with a little sadness and even trepidation that we settle into planning for this year. Not only does it bring up all the things we have to do without to make our budget, but it means facing all the things we will do without once we leave: the friends who have become our expat family, our spacious and beautiful apartment (who knows how drastic we'll have to downsize), not to mention this little part of Germany so full of forests, rivers and wineries that we have come to love. The excitement of new things to come is so strong, but the sense of loss that accompanies it makes it that much harder to face head on.
So there will be no list of resolutions for me this year, just the single-minded focus on where we hope to be in the year ahead. Here's to making that happen!
*Daily Drop Cap by Jessica Hische